Could this year be any worse than knowing your father had cancer?
During the first quarter of this year, our family has faced our first storm with my dad's health issue. He had experienced difficulty urinating, hence decided to have a prostate exam. Results had come, he needed to undergo Transurethral Resection of the Prostrate (TURP) last March to treat his urinary problems. He needed to wear catheter for just two weeks, and then proceed with a follow up check up. Quarantine happened, he, due to his age and to prevent infection of the COVID-19 virus, was not able to have a physical check up. His doctor, also, wasn't able to report because of his age. What they did was to have an online check up (of course, it is not enough!). His doctor advised him to go to the nearest clinic or hospital and have the catheter removed. If he doesn't urinate after 24 hours, he was advised to wear a catheter for another round until the quarantine is lifted and physical check up is possible. This procedure was repeated even after his mother, our Lola Maria, died and entombed.
June came, physical check up is possible, we decided to bring dad to his doctor for a follow up check up. He, then, was scheduled for another operation to remove whatever is blocking in his urinary track. A lot of dead tissue was removed. He, again, needed to wear a catheter for two weeks. Luckily, after two weeks, he was able to urinate easily.
We were rejoicing until early October or late September when he noticed a blood in his stool. Our parents consulted our cousin who is a nurse about it. She told them to go to a hospital for a check up. They did. They whole month of October was supposedly a happy month for us since two of us celebrate their birthdays, Mom and sis. We're not really as happy.
During the first half of October, what happened was a series of check up. Dad underwent several lab tests, of which results are recommendable. Whilst undergoing lab tests, he struggled, again with urinating, but this time with excreting also. Late October came, they went back to the hospital for a supposedly follow up check up until his doctors advised them to be admitted for further examinations. One day became two. Two became three, then a week. I, being the only person who can run some errands without compromising my work schedule, went to the hospital to bring them stuff they needed while they were staying there. However, due to pandemic, I wasn't able to go to dad's room. She advised us to keep our adversity to ourselves to prevent humors that dad acquired the virus.
While it is stressful for us to do the chores at home, it is more stressful for our parents waiting for a good feedback from the doctors. The doctors suggested him to undergo colonoscopy. They noticed a mass in his rectum. Hence, a biopsy was advised. The last week of October was devastating when his doctor told them about a possible reason while waiting for the biopsy result. She recorded what the doctor had told them: he could have a rectal cancer, hence the rectal mass should be removed through a surgery to prevent the spread of the cancer cells. The removal would include some of his organs like the rectum, his bladder, and more. He, as a result, would have to wear a colostomy bag for good. My parents were devastated. We are devastated. We do not know what would happen next. Not to mention our financial status, his health was at stake, his life was on a countdown(?).
I, being too emotional with what is happening, told my closest friends and colleagues about what is happening in our family. I asked them to include dad in their prayers. I wasn't as prayerful as before. I even had turned from my belief that God is there. I just don't want to lose dad. I lost a lot of people in my entire life (3 in the span of three months, during this year alone). I want him to be as healthy as he is before this happened.
Our parents, then, decided to just come home and have the medication conducted at the comfort of our home while waiting for the biopsy result. They went back home just in time to celebrate our mom's birthday.
We have waited for few more days before the biopsy result came out. I do not understand what is written, but I know it is not acceptable. I asked some of my med students before to read it for me. One said that the rectal mass that was found in my dad's body was malignant. With the term per se, I felt my world was shut down. I don't know what else to do, or at least ease the unfortune event.
I promised myself to have my birthday celebrated this year to ease the pain of the past. I just lost the appetite to do so. My dad has a cancer? I cannot believe it. What on earth did we do to have this heavy burden? I eavesdropped him saying "anong nangyari sakin, bakit ano nagkaganito?". It breaks my heart hearing a strong man like him, who I seldom see crying or manifesting hardships, weeps. I couldn't imagine how my mom is handling this turn of event. We are hiding our sadness. We are hiding our desperation.
My dad is not alone in this fight. We are doing whatever should be done for him to recover. He doesn't have cancer, we did. We had cancer. I know, and I am believing, that this storm will pass without any casualty. We will be healed.
[As per the writing, only two of my closest friends knew the result: my med student and my so-called Inay. I decided to write it here and publish it because I am begging you, if anyone is reading this post, to include our family in your prayers.]
