Everyone
is in deep search for his own happiness. Some just find it across the street,
some found it resting in a corner. As for where my happiness was, I can say I
know where it was however I haven't had the chance to genuinely feel it.
Described as something that brings genuine joy and draws an upright curve on a
face of the beholder, genuine happiness is something that cannot be easily
found and searched. Sometimes it was met along the journey called life. Indeed,
it was just the journey itself.
The past
year brought both joy and pain to my being. I lost a lot and gained just fair.
As I journeyed my way to my own happiness last year, I realized a lot of
things. I learned some of them the hard way.
I
realized the importance of friendship amidst crisis. Not all who called you
friend are true and real, some are just users. It broke my heart to know that
some of whom I considered friends just broke my trust and left me in deep agony
and regret. However, it brought joy to my being that there are genuine
ones—those who are ready to get me out of the pit and encourage me that I can
still push through. I am thankful to the One who brings these people to my
life.
I
realized the importance of having someone at your side all the time when my pet
friend dog, Tukla, and my pet friend cat, Black Tiger passed away. They were
not just pets, they were our friends. I used to call them puyatero buddies for
they always stayed with me all night. Now that they’re gone, I seldom stay late
at night just to spare myself from missing them.
I
realized I don’t have a long-time goal in life other than having a genuine
happiness and finding a right place for me. My siblings had their goals and
plans laid black and white with our parents while I have none. I think it is
because of the fact that I am still uncertain about my career. I still in the
journey of finding the right place for me.
In
connection with it, I realized all that I need were support and encouragement
from the core people in my life. Many have already said I am capable of doing
almost everything because they know and believe I can, but still doubt covers
all they have uttered. Recently I realized it was because I haven’t got enough support
from the people who supposed to be the first to do so.
The year
2014 brought more sadness in my life because of the unfortunate events
happened. However there were unplanned reunions and celebrations took place.
There happened the first alumni homecoming of the organization which had sent
me to school. It is a good avenue to be reunited with my co-scholars and spent
the night reminiscing the past. What made it so wonderful is it happened during
my birthday. Late that night, my friends and I, together with our mentor and “nanay”
celebrated my special day in a coffee house. That was memorable!
I have
been in a roller coaster ride of my life during the past year. There were just
more downs than ups, though. I will not wish for a problem-less year for this
year, rather I hope that these realizations will make me stronger and at least
a step closer to who I ought to be and where I am supposed to be.
