Every one of us is in the journey
to fulfilling one’s destiny. Everyone is in search for his worth and for his
destiny. Though blurry it may seem, we tried our best to find our own places.
Sadly, some failed to fulfill their own destiny before the clock strikes. As
for me, I think I have already found my place, and the destiny I am about to
fulfill all throughout my stay in this world called life.
All that I have been doing is to be an agent
of goodwill to the community I am into. Not that I want to become a superhero
or whatsoever, but, I want everyone to have at least someone to lean on,
someone to go to whenever they are in need or whenever they feel the burden laid
upon their shoulders gets heavier. I want a world that is filled with so much
love and so much compassion with each other. I don’t want a world in which love
is not the language spoken by everyone. I don’t want a world where peace is not
priceless, where war is so affordable. I am ready to sacrifice my own happiness
just to give way to somebody else’s. I am willing to give up my freedom if it
means freeing someone. I am willing to embrace death to give life to those who
are worthier to live. Why am I doing this? I love the people who I get connected
with. I don’t expect something in return with all the sacrifices I have made,
been doing and have to do.
However, it
breaks my heart every time I am turned down. Maybe I am asking too much? Or
maybe I am way too expectant. Maybe I want the people to realize my worth or
maybe I am unworthy of their attention. Some friends of mine are always telling
me to stop being too kind, and being too selfless. I should also find time for
myself, they advised. I find my place in helping people with their problem; I
fulfill my self-worth with giving what I can give and doing what I can do for
the benefit of others. It is just saddening to know that people do not know how
to appreciate every little thing done for their sake.
Maybe, just
maybe, I need to change the way I live my life. Yes, I need to change the way I
live my life. I am not supposed to live this way. I am not supposed to
sacrifice much and gain nothing. Maybe, I need to bury the good me and start
living badly. Besides, nobody cares for; nobody loves; nobody thinks about me.
I am just nobody in the eyes of those people who I helped before. They just
know me whenever they need something. After which, they forget that someone,
who is also in need, helped them; someone, who is unloved, loved them; someone,
who lacks, had given much; someone, who also gets weary and tired, strengthened
them.
To the good me,
and to every good thing I have done and I have to do yet, so long. I will be
missing the times that I lived the way you taught and lead me. However, I hope
I would not regret the decision I am making. No, I will not definitely regret
this thing. After all, I have received too much hurt and have done too many
sacrifices that I have forgotten who I really am.
To the good me,
and to every little good thing I have done and I have to do yet, good bye. This
is the end of my goodness and would be the start of something bad. To the good
me, and to my life, I am about to embrace the loneliness of being aloof and the
sadness of being selfish. I hope I would be happier this time.
- A.K. Gonzales III
