Point of Intersection

Walking in a busy street, I saw myself hanged by a moment thinking of what might happen in the years to come. After graduating in college, the norm is to find a full time job vacancy and fill it with fresh ideas come from a fresh graduate like me. It was the norm!

Should I go forward or should I have a sudden shift of course?
I don't know still.

However, I have a very different case. I am working even before I got the chance to grab the most defining moment of my life--college graduation. It is two years now since I was accepted and hired in a tutorial center. All I was thinking the moment I got there is I might just work for two months. But, two months became three and months became years. And, I hope years will be counted continuously.

After graduation, the moment when everyone is busy passing resume here and there, praying some of the companies phone them up and call for an interview. Later, hoping to pass the interview and proceed to the other steps. Sooner, sign a paper indicating of being hired. I did the same. I did passed resumes to some schools. Some of which responded to my application and scheduled me for an interview. And a fewer number gets to contact me again for some other stuffs needed to accomplish. Until, one school asks if I was interested to join in the team and work there for at least 10 months. Things are yet to do so the contract signing was still undone.

One question, during the interview, really made me doubtful whether or not working in their school is what I want. In full honesty, I want to have a full time job in as early as possible. Our conversation went like this:

Interviewer (I): Are you planning to have other work outside the school?
Me (J): Yes, Ma'am. Actually, I am working in a tutorial center and it will continue by next school year.
I: I see. But, are you willing to sacrifice some of your time there? I mean, in this school, we ask teachers to go here during Saturdays to do other stuffs like lesson planning, etc.
J: Yes, Ma'am.
I: That was good. Even if it tells you that your time in the tutorial center you are telling will be lessened?
J: (in doubting voice) Yes?

In fact, it makes me cry every time I think of leaving the company I call home and the students I call friends. Yes, they are my precious gems. It is hard to leave such group where almost everything is in harmony. I have been so in love with these students I have handled and it will break my heart if I get no chance to teach them.
Yes, I want to be in a formal school and have a full time job. But, I can't compromise my position to teach these kids for the year to come.

I asked how the salary would be, and got no definite answer. A neighbor tells my mom that the school where I would be working at gives salary that is fair enough to live but low enough to save. If I would do some calculation, I can say I would earn more in the tutorial center than in school.

I don't know. Everything is still uncertain. It feels like I want chocolate cake and Mocha cake, but I only got one cake to choose and eat. Which will I choose? I don't know.

I don't know if I would continue my journey forward or I would have this sudden shift of course. I was in the point of intersection, if I may say this.